I'm in a quandry and, while I usually talk with my husband about things, I cannot talk to him about this, so I'm hoping that my friends can help. He's incredibly discontented with his life and, at least partially, blames me. I can't help that I got pregnant and bore him a child, like I can't help being disabled and (temporarily) sick. But he's going on about how I'm not fulfilling his needs. Since I've been back from a visit with my parents, I've been trying to be more attentive to him and his sexual needs. Even while I was sick with a fever (and recovering), I've worn skirts almost every day because I know he likes it. The last couple of weeks, I haven't been able to do much, but I even got up early one day and did his laundry and made him pancakes. I'm doing all I can, but I'm struggling with my own difficulties. Does it make me selfish? My counselors say no, but he says I'm always thinking of myself. All I'm trying to do is take care of myself enough so that I can take care of my husband and my children. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don't know how to cope. WF sometimes says that I'm like a teenager who never grew up, but a teenager doesn't worry so much about her responsibilities (at least most teenagers.) I love him desperately, even if he doesn't always believe it. I want to see him happy, but he makes like it is impossible for me! He sometimes seems to believe that I'm with him out of convenience. How can I convince him that I truly love him and can make him happy? And, he's a cynic; how do I convince him that life offers multiple chances at happiness, not just one?
-Jen (signing my own name because I'm really serious about this)